Lingerie and the single girl

Aubade 'Endormie' Chemise

I'm going to let you in on a little secret... I am single and have been for awhile (yes hard to believe for someone with a lingerie addiction). My friends always tell me, "You'll have a boyfriend in no time if only they knew what you did for a living!" But the truth is actually quite the opposite. Through time and bad media exposure, the word lingerie has been intrinsically linked to sex. And if you work in the lingerie industry, it ultimately means to men, that I'm easy and I want to sleep with them. Because hey, isnt that why I wore stockings and suspenders on our first date? (not that I wear them every day or anything like that...)

This becomes an issue for me when a potential mate decides its ok to ask upon first meeting me, "So what lingerie are you wearing today?" (as an image builds in their head). It puts me off telling men what I do for a living. But the lingerie world is my life, my passion, and has been my career for fourteen years. How could I have an honest conversation with someone if Im not to mention what my life is about and what I'm ultimately working towards...

Bordelle Gia Bra and Crystal Heart Suspender Skirt

Women also seem to have forged the same link between lingerie and sex and I hear far too many female clients say, "Why would I wear or buy nice lingerie? I don't have a boyfriend!" Well neither do I, but I wear beautiful lingerie every day for no one but myself. I feel good when I wear it and I won't stop just because no one else gets to see it. 

Yes lingerie is the last remnant of modesty before taking things further with a lover, hence it can be seen as an item of lust by some. But its also the garment that protects as well as supports your body. Its the first piece of fabric you step into when you get dressed in the morning. So why is lingerie seen to be about the other person?

Being single doesn't mean you start wearing your old striped undies and beige T-shirt bras. Or that when you get a new partner suddenly your 'frivoulous lingerie' drawer gets opened and you start to wear your matching sets again. When we dress up for him we usually put on an outfit that we feel sexiest in. More confident in. More beautiful in. So why cant we do this for ourselves? We're the judgmental ones... Not them.

La Perla Jean Paul Gaultier Bra with 'Fiebre De Amor' fringe high waist bottom

We women dress up in order to impress the people around us. We over analyze our appearance and constantly compare ourselves to others. We look in the mirror far more often than males do. So why don't we start first thing in the morning by putting on a beautiful lingerie set just for ourselves and look in the mirror with a cheeky smile, knowing that no one will get the privilege of seeing what you're seeing. Spend the day with that air of confidence and no one need know why.


Photographs from a recent shoot I did with this wonderful team

Photographer: Vlad Savin Photography
Model: Keira Brigham Model
Stylist: My Lingerie Addiction
Make-up and Hair: Amy Kenny Makeup Artist & Hairstylist
 


Do you save your good lingerie for when someone else is going to see it? Or do you wear it for yourself?


Comments

  1. YES. I'm a drama student and my 'openness' I can see is misconstrued by some of the more emotionally and sexually immature 20-something male students. As far as lingerie, people ask me why I continue to buy beautiful pieces being single. They don't realize too, like you, I live for me first, and I love beauty and luxury (on a budget I can afford). I love the support, structure, visual aesthetic and feel of beautiful underwear. I feel sexy wearing it. I embody me for me :) <3

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  2. Totally agree. I also get asked by friends why I would wear such nice lingerie when I'm single and no man is there to appreciate it. I don't wear it for a man, I wear it for me. I love stockings and corsets and suspenders so why wouldn't I wear it all the time!

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  3. I;ve before said I was a surgeon instead of lingerie designer, just because men most often ask - "do you get to see ots of boobs?

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  7. You are amazing, I understand your frustration completely!

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